Called to Love: Preparing for Foster Care

2020 has been a dark year. But it’s possibly been the darkest for the vulnerable children in our country.  

While kids have been out of school and not allowed to participate in their usual activities out of the home, reports of neglect and abuse have drastically dropped off. All over America, fostering agencies are practically holding their breath, waiting for the onslaught of calls and emergency placements that will need responses as things normalize. 

…the aftermath of a year that has been spent hiding in the dark. 

The Orphan Crisis

When we started the adoption process, our eyes were opened to a whole new world of hurt and brokenness that we had been blind to. 

Babies in orphanages who are silent; because they learn that no one comes for them when they cry. 

400,000 + children in the foster care system who are victims of unspeakable traumas everyday…who spend (sometimes) years of their lives shuffling between foster or group homes.  

And the 100,000 + of those same children who fall prey to sex traffickers from as early as 12 years old…because they spend their lives desperately searching for love and belonging. 

I remember feeling so angry that I had never once heard about these things before intentionally pursuing adoption….before we were digging deep into the orphan crisis and “stumbling into the facts” that came along with it. And the more we uncovered, the louder the questions pounded in my head…

“Where is the church in all of this?”

Why is this not being preached about? Why are we not equipping more families and couples to get involved? And most of all…

Why are we hiding behind the assumption that we have to be “special” in order to get our hands dirty in this mess?

I started asking everyone I could if they had ever heard a sermon or message preached about orphan care. And the answer I got the most was…”I may have heard it mentioned in a sermon off-handed once or twice, but not directly.”

Now, don’t get me wrong…I understand that this issue is deep, complicated, and can’t be “fixed” by pastors preaching about it once or twice a year. But I think we’ve labeled adoption as more of… “a unique way to grow your family” and foster care as… “what really special people do when they want to serve the kids in their community.”

In short…we, as the church, are not engaging with the orphan crisis unless we magically fit into one of those two categories. And we’re not hearing the devastating truths surrounding this crisis unless we know someone who’s involved, or unless we start digging into it ourselves.

Friends, we, as the church…the body of Christ…need to beg for our hearts to be broken over this. Because there is a dark war raging around these children…and it’s ours to engage in.

We’re not Special

Throughout the adoption process, we were simultaneously wrestling with a burden for foster care. Before we even brought Lucy home from the hospital, we were knee-deep in researching how to get licensed and praying through when the right time would be.

But as much as I felt burdened, I will admit the call to foster is one I was slow to accept…and even slower to become passionate about. So if anything speaks of how the Lord works wonders in our hearts, it’s us becoming foster parents (trust me). 

Part of my hesitation was that, all my life, I bought into the classic stereotype that people who foster are “special”…the type of people who, from the age of 10, have this magical calling sprinkled on them by God…who know from the beginning that fostering is what they’re meant to do. 

But what I’ve come to see is that the people who foster and adopt…are simply you and me. 

There’s nothing special about us. We’re not “more equipped” to deal with pain or brokenness. We’re just people who are called to be light in the dark places. 

Now, I am by no means saying that everyone needs to foster and/or adopt. I also don’t think you should just sign up to foster/adopt without feeling led by the Lord. He ultimately is the one who burdens us and places us exactly where we need to be…to accomplish His purpose and plan for our lives. And for a lot of people, that looks like NOT being foster/adoptive parents.  

But…

I think it’s dangerous to tell God we don’t feel called to something…when it’s really just an excuse to not get uncomfortable for Him.

The more I think about Jesus’s Kingdom…the one where, “whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life…will find it…”

…the more I realize that Jesus isn’t too concerned about our comfort levels. In fact, He tells us to enter into the hard and broken places for His sake. 

So what if we jumped in instead of backing away? What if we started praying big and scary prayers? Begging God to break our hearts for what breaks His…and for the courage to leave our comfort behind.

What if we stopped waiting for a “calling” and just started asking the Lord how He wants us to get involved. 

Take the First Step

There are SO many ways to get involved and fight on behalf of vulnerable children without directly fostering. It can be as simple as making meals for a foster family in your church or heading down to your local foster agency and asking what supplies they need donated.

If you’d like more information, check out this video from one of my favorite speakers/advocates on foster care, Jamie Finn. She gives some great practical tips for getting involved… 

We may not all be called to foster or adopt, but we are all called to love and care for the vulnerable. 

So may we beg the Lord for a heart that breaks for what breaks His…so we can engage in this dark battle and start fighting for His children.